FROM MY MAILBOX: how to write a rotten poem

By Richard Howey

So you want to write a poem. You’ve had a rotten day or an astounding thought or a car accident or a squalid love affair and you want to record it for all time. You want to organize those emotions that are pounding through your veins. You have something to communicate via a poem but you don’t know where to start.

This, of course, is the problem with poetry. Most people find it difficult to write a poem so they don’t even try. What’s worse, they don’t bother reading any poems either. Poetry has become an almost totally foreign art form to many of us. As a result, serious poets either starve or work as account executives. There is no middle ground. Good poets and poems are lost forever simply because there is no market for them, no people who write their own verse and seek out further inspiration from other bards.

Fortunately, there is a solution for this problem, as there are for all imponderables. The answer is to make it easy for everyone to write at least one poem in his life. Once a person has written a poem, of whatever quality, he will feel comradeship with fellow poets and, hopefully, read their works. Ideally, there would evolve a veritable society of poet-citizens, which would elevate the quality of life worldwide. Normally that, good poets could make a living for a change.

So, to begin. Have your paper ready. You must first understand that the poem you write here will not be brilliant. It won’t even be mediocre. But it will be better than 50% of all song lyrics and at least, equal to the one of Rod McKuen’s best efforts. You will be instructed how to write a four-line poem but the basic structure can be repeated at will to create works of epic length.

The first line of your poem should start and end with these words: “In the __________ of my mind.” The middle word of this line is optional. Any word will do. It will be best not to use a word that has been overdone, such as “windmills” or “gardens” or “playground.” Just think of as many nouns as you can and see what fits best. The rule of thumb is to pick a noun that seems totally out of context, such as “filing cabinet” or “radiator” or “parking lot.” Just remember, the more unusual the noun, the more prof ound the image.

The second line should use two or more of the human senses in a conflicting manner, as per the famous, “listen to the warm.” This is sure way to conjure up “poetic” feeling and atmosphere. Since there are five different senses, the possibilities are endless. A couple that came to mind are “see the noise” and “touch the sound.” If more complexity is desired other senses can be added, as in “taste the color of my hearing,” or “I cuddled your sight in the aroma of the night.” Rhyming, of course, is optional.

Third line should be just a simple statement. This is used to break up the insightful images that have been presented in the first two lines. This line should be as prosaic as possible to give them a “down-to-earth” mood to the poem. An example would be “she gave me juice and toast that morning,” or perhaps “I left for work the next day on the 8:30 bus.” The content of this line may or may not relate to what has gone before.

The last line of your poem should deal with the future in some way. This gives the poem a forward thrust that is always helpful. A possibility might be, “tomorrow will be better day,” or “I’ll find someone sometime,” or “maybe we’ll meet again in July.” This future-oriented ending lends an aura of hope and yet need not be grossly optimistic.

By following the above structure, anyone can write a poem. For example, if I select one of each of my sample lines, I come up with:

In the parking lot of my mind,

I cuddled your sight in the aroma of the night.

I left for work next day on the 8:30 bus.

Maybe we’ll meet again in July.

Now that poem (like yours, when you’re finished) is rotten. But at least it’s a poem and you’ve written it, which is an accomplishment that relatively few people can claim.

Now that you’re a poet, feel free to read poetry by some of your more accomplished brothers and sisters in verse. Chances are, you’ll find their offerings stimulating and refreshing. You might even try writing some more of your own poems, now that you’ve broken the ice. Observe others’ emotions and experience your own—that’s what poetry is all about.

Incidentally, if you find it impossible to sell the poem you write to Bobby Goldsboro or John Denver, burn it. It will look terrible as the first page of your anthology when it is published.

I never think of the future - it comes soon enough. - Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955)